Friday, December 21, 2012

Things NOT To Do On A Plane

On my last flight home from Disney World I was sick, so sick I just wanted my bed and the only way I was getting there was on that plane.  This didn't make me feel too charitable.

Before our flight my sister got called up to the podium, they were looking for people willing to change seats to put a family together.  Now, while I am more then happy to help out a family (as long as I keep an aisle or window seat) this case seemed a little silly.  It was 4 adults with 1 child.  The child should absolutely be kept with an adult, maybe even 2 adults.  The rest are ADULTS.  Anyway, my sister said she would move if she could keep her aisle seat and so she got moved from row 16 to 6 and said I would be happy to move too if they needed it and was moved from row 16 to row 10 (an exit row with extra leg room).

Of course this was the wackiest boarding I have ever seen in my flying life.  Boarding took over a half hour. The line stopped for a full 5 minutes early in the process.  Then just before I got on a guy accidentally used is Delta boarding pass from his flight down to Orlando.  This was a Jetblue flight.  Then when I'm in the exit row getting the exit row speech one guy just gets up and moves.  He never came back so I'm guessing he was in the wrong row.  Then they moved a woman from the "family" that had to be together into the exit row.  But that didn't last long as she was not comfortable helping in the event of an emergency.  So, she had to be moved.  I have no issue with people saying they are not willing or able to help, I would rather find out before then during an actual emergency. Amazingly we only landed 5 minutes late.

But when I got to my seat the guy in the middle seat, who was traveling with a girl, had his stuff under the middle seat, but was sitting in my aisle seat.  Not in the mood for this, I immediately pointed out that he was in my seat.  He moved over and offered a weak apology.  Seriously, he couldn't even wait until the plane was boarded before spreading out?  Incase you're wondering, there was 1 empty seat on this flight and there was a hoard of people trying to board before boarding began, it obviously wasn't going to be a roomie flight.

But, that's not what made me want to cough all over him and give him my disease.  Sitting on the aisle, I am happy to give the middle person the armrest; however, that does not mean you can invade my personal space too.  He was a skinny little thing with boney little elbows that kept jabbing into me.

And so, here is what I learned not to do on a flight:
1. If you're a group of adults you do NOT need to sit together.  Buy a book or a magazine or watch the  TV.  Yes, it's nicer to sit with friends and family but you don't need to make the plane into musical chairs right before boarding.  If it's that important to you, pay the money for the seats up front.
2. Don't jump in other peoples seats before the flight has fully boarded, or at least do a good job of playing dumb when you're caught.
3. If you're a skinny little dude in a middle seat there is absolutely no reason to be invading other people's space.  Karma obviously put you next to a sick person for a reason....

Have you had any really bad seat mates?